With my big exam behind me, I took an afternoon to wander through Nanjing with some friends. We came across this scene in a little park on Beijing Road.
Clothes lines were strung between the pine trees, hung festively with pink and blue placards. A crowd of about thirty men and women, none younger than fifty, wandered back and forth. They stopped now and then to take and compare notes, chat, or break out into an argument.
What is going on here? A marriage market!
These are parents whose children are approaching thirty, the dreaded deadline for marriage, but are too busy to look for a mate themselves. The parents hang up a placard with basic information about their child, and then the searching and negotiation begins. It’s a little like an online dating site, except it happens in real life, and is run by parents.
Clothes lines were strung between the pine trees, hung festively with pink and blue placards. A crowd of about thirty men and women, none younger than fifty, wandered back and forth. They stopped now and then to take and compare notes, chat, or break out into an argument.
What is going on here? A marriage market!
These are parents whose children are approaching thirty, the dreaded deadline for marriage, but are too busy to look for a mate themselves. The parents hang up a placard with basic information about their child, and then the searching and negotiation begins. It’s a little like an online dating site, except it happens in real life, and is run by parents.
Arranged marriage is seldom practiced any more in China, but if a young man or woman doesn’t marry, the family will sooner or later have to step in. Thirty is considered to be the deadline for women, slightly older for men. Since women and men cannot legally marry until 20 and 22 respectively, that means an 8-10 year headlong rush to the altar (or sedan chair, in this case.) What with graduating from university, finding a job, and scratching together the resources for a proper marriage, many young people lag behind. If time runs out, then the family may resort to one of many matchmaking services available. These include web based services, community matchmaking centers, speed-marriage-dating, social events, or marriage fairs like the one here.
The pink placards are divided between two groups. The vast majority are women fast approaching thirty, many with masters or doctorate degrees. I was impressed by the credentials of some of these women; they are certainly not being passed up because of lack of education or breeding (see Marina Adshade’s blog here for more on this.) A smaller group of women are about fifty years old, divorced, and looking for remarriage.
I only found one blue placard equivalent to the latter category. The men seemed to be slightly older than the women, and respectably but not outstandingly successful. The lack of older men may mean that the older women will miss out (the men invariably are looking for a younger woman), but the older women may also be advertizing to an older male crowd who do not hang placards.
I only found one blue placard equivalent to the latter category. The men seemed to be slightly older than the women, and respectably but not outstandingly successful. The lack of older men may mean that the older women will miss out (the men invariably are looking for a younger woman), but the older women may also be advertizing to an older male crowd who do not hang placards.
The sign at left reads:
Sex: Male
Birth date: September 1985
Hight: 165cm
Weight: (blank)
Education: Bachelors
Employment: Mechanical engineer
Yearly salary: 50,000 yuan
University: Nanjing Institute of Technology
Marriage History: (Blank)
Self Description: Has car and house, only child, Nanjinger
Requirements: Born after 1985, local, bachelors or up, 155cm or up, has stable job, open and friendly, respectful to parents.
(Thanks to Leng Ung for photography.)
Sex: Male
Birth date: September 1985
Hight: 165cm
Weight: (blank)
Education: Bachelors
Employment: Mechanical engineer
Yearly salary: 50,000 yuan
University: Nanjing Institute of Technology
Marriage History: (Blank)
Self Description: Has car and house, only child, Nanjinger
Requirements: Born after 1985, local, bachelors or up, 155cm or up, has stable job, open and friendly, respectful to parents.
(Thanks to Leng Ung for photography.)
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